The Smiles, and the Laughter

The greatest gift that we received this year was our little girl.... and the Christmas season took on all new meaning this year.  As I reflected on the Christmas story in a whole new way - from the eyes of a mother.  Before this year I never could have imagined the emotions that Mary felt when she gave birth to her child, however now I have a new understanding.  My life has been changed by a baby - but in the large scheme of things it had been changed by a baby 2000 years ago.

The joys of Christmas are remembering that Jesus was born as a baby and came to save the world from their sins... the bible tells us about it.  But what the bible doesn't talk about is what it was like being the mother of Jesus - wow - I can't even begin to imagine....but I am guessing that she had some mommy moments when all she wanted to do was stare at her smiling little baby much like we enjoyed over Christmas vacation.  Check out our newest Ella video!

A blast from the past

As many of you know I was adopted at the age of 2.5 months.  From what my mom said I was a very little girl even at that point.  I only weighed a bit over 9 pounds.  I guess you could say - like mother, like daughter because at 2 and half months Ella was still under 10 pounds.

My mom much like me saves everything.... and this is one of those things I am so grateful that she saved... the outfit that I came in.  It was a little blue dress with a bunny coming out of an egg and a bit of beat up yellow sweater.

I thought it would be fun to have a little fashion show - so here is Ella wearing the little outfit that I came in.  Oh what a joy it is to have someone who looks like me.

Baby Dedication

What a wonderful day it was yesterday for our family.  Our little girl was dedicated!  We were so blessed to have so many people including some members of my family come and join us for the service.  This may sound a little weird but everytime I think of a dedication I picture that seen from the movie Lion King where young Simba is lifted up to the sky - I just picture little Ella being lifted up to Jesus - confirming that she belongs to him!

The dedication is also for us as parents - praying and dedicating our lives as parents to raising her in the church - helping to teach her and show her by our actions what it means to be a follower of Christ.  I pray that we will be great examples of God for her.

The service ended with a celebration meal - lasagna!  It was so nice to just fellowship and celebrate the joy of God's gift to us - Ella Lynn Snyder!!!

A wise man of God once said - never be ashamed to ask people to join with you in praying - especially for you children.  So here it is - would you be willing to pray for our little girl?  It would be a great blessing to us!

Photo Shoots

I just love taking pictures.... it helps that I think my baby is one of the cutest babies I have ever had :).  Anyway - I don't know about other moms out there but it seems to me that every time I have a plan to get pictures it just doesn't fit her schedule - in fact my best pictures are the ones that I am lucky and just catch on a fly.

The other day we were trying to get a picture for our Christmas card and after feeding her in the morning I put her in her pretty plaid dress, put her headband on, her stockings and her shoes - put her on the blanket and alas - she fell asleep.... we tried again when she woke up but she was hungry - then I had somewhere to go.....so daddy was in charge and had to run some errands so he left her in her pretty dress and off they went... finally the we tried again in the early evening - she didn't seem to want to smile.... so I thought if we can get one without her crying it will be a success!  We got one finally and it was awesome - you just have to be willing to roll with it!

So today was her 3 Month pictures.... she just didn't want to smile but oh well - it is still super cute!  Check out our picture from today!  

Mommy/Ella Time

I had my first overnight away from my little girl.  It was a great get away for me to spend with some girlfriends doing some scrapbooking.  So when I returned today all I wanted to do was have Ella time so after feeding her I decided to try on her new snow suit and this is what she looked like..... I know I am biased but she is too cute!  And seems to be a little immobile in her new suit!

2 Month Memory

So yesterday was my vent and confession of my 2 month meltdown, so to help you see that I truly love my new role in life despite my clothes not fitting, despite many late night feedings, despite not getting my thank yous done yet..... I LOVE BEING A MOM!!!

I had no idea how amazing it would be to have a child.  Some days I just sit and stare at her as she sleeps.  How can anyone look at a child and not believe in God - I just don't know.  I have loved watching and getting to know my little one over the past two months, but I must say the past two weeks have been especially wonderful.... she is now smiling and following us with her eyes.  I just love the little faces she makes as her daddy tickles her toes.  It makes my heart overflow with joy as I watch her smile.... even if at times it is just because of gas - a smile is a smile!!!

One of the best pieces of advice that I was once given was don't wish their years away - don't get so caught up in what you are waiting for them to do - to not enjoy what they are learning to do now.  I loved when she was a newborn and she just circled up on my chest and slept in a little ball.  I loved when she started to open her eyes and one second she could focus and the next second it was back to the cross eyed.  I loved when she had her eyes open more than five minutes at a time..... let's just say - there is sometime special about every stage to love... and today I love her smile.  Check out this video of my 2 month memory!

2 Month Meltdown

My closet is full but my options are empty!!!  So on Saturday I ventured into my closet to find something to wear to a special service at our church which I was leading music for.   I wanted to wear something a little nicer than jeans but not super dressy - so I would say it was khaki and nice shirt type of night.  I went into my closet and found a pair of khakis and noticed an array of shirts to choose from (yes I am one of those ladies that when I find a shirt that I like and it fits me and it is on sale - I buy all the colors available)  I put on the pants, though they were tighter than I would have liked - they fit me and I figured I could just cover up my baby pouch with one of my many long sleeve shirts - WRONG!!!  I put on the first shirt..... didn't fit - too short.  Put on the second shirt - didn't fit "my girls" were too big and I looked like a hussy (sorry but there is really no other word to describe how bad I looked in that shirt)  I tried on a third (yeah you may be wondering why I even continued to try them on at this point) and it was too tight.....ARGHHHHH  I yelled from the closet and Joel asked what was wrong - I simply yelled - nothing fits and then as I realized that trully nothing did fit - I began to sob!!!  (Gosh I thought I was over that stage of post pregnancy - I guess not!) 

I finally broke down and just went to my few remaining maternity things that fit me but don't make me look too frumpy - I wasn't pleased with my outfit but it at least covered my top, covered my pouch and wasn't skin tight so I guess it was a success by most people's standards - however it was a rough night for me as I realized - I have a long road to get back to a healthy body weight and closet of clothes that will actually fit me.  I just don't want to have to wear maternity clothes for the rest of my life, but I guess I should just be happy that I have clothing!  Oh the woahs of post pregnancy!  Tomorrow I will post of the joys of post pregnancy so come back and visit as I look at the joy of the journey!

The Hunt Continues (Girl Stuff)

So if you are a man - consider yourself warned - this blog will contain information about girl stuff!

For the last few months of my pregnancy I contemplated getting a few good nursing bras, however I had heeded the warnings that "the girls" will change size when your milk comes in.  So I held off since I knew that buying bras was a large investment.

I did go to Target with hopes of getting a few inexpensive stretchy ones to wear at the hospital - but let's just say - they didn't fit!  Not even the XXL - seriously!  I was shocked - I am sure the size must have been wrong!

So on our trip to Babies R Us - my niece and I looked at Bras (yes they do have Bras there in the Medela nursing department) and I found two that fit but are not the most supportive.

Now two months later I began the hunt for a good nursing bra since my stretchy ones are starting to fall apart (literally)  I went to a Motherhood store and was so thankful to finally find a store that carries nursing bras - they are few and far between and I didn't want to order online since I have no idea what size I would wear.

I was so excited to see that they carried a wide variety of sizes up to a size E (which I never even knew existed)  Well I took a variety of sizes back to try on but too my dismay - NONE FIT!!!!!  Urghhhh - not even an E - seriously - I don't even know what size would be next!  Or what size I would even need.

So back to square one - the woahs of motherhood!  I never knew this would be so hard.  So any suggestions on what size would be next or where to get a nursing bra in plus sizes - I would love that information!!!

Hope this wasn't TMI - but as woman I am guessing I am not the only one who has dealt with this or will deal with it in the future.

I'll be back - Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be my baby's two month birthday and it will also mark my comeback to blogging.  It was great to take some time off, now I am refreshed (as much as you can be with a eight week old) and I am ready to get back into blogging about life with baby and MS and all those other things.  If you are interested in checking out my other blog which focuses mostly on ministry type and random things - you can find it at www.gripofgrace.com - that will also be starting back up tomorrow.  Have a great day!!!

Two weeks - Oh my!

As I am sitting here in my office awaiting my next client - which is also my last client before I take a month of maternity leave - I am reminded of the fact that in two short weeks (or sooner) I am going to be a parent. The little girl that loves to kick and squirm will be in my arms and not in my belly!

It alternates from being real to be surreal..... never having gone through this before you just have no idea what to expect.... there are so many questions, so many things that I want to be sure I say to her and do for her, but at the same time it is overwhelming and exciting.

Over the last two months people have been asking if I was ready.... ready, really?  Is one ever fully ready for their life to be completely turned upside down, around, and back again?  No I wasn't ready when the questions started coming..... am I ready now?  Well not sure if I would call myself ready but I feel that now that the nursery is done for the most part - I am as close to ready as I will be.

Here are some things that I am ready for:
1.  I am ready to hold my little girl in my arms and hug and kiss her all the time - instead of feeling totally weird as I talk to her through my belly!!!
2.  I am ready for Joel to get to feel her move all the time instead of just when I call him over and make him watch my belly move.
3.  I am ready to put on her little clothes that have been patiently waiting in my closet for the last three months.
4.  I am ready to be able to see my toes again :)
5.  I am ready to see what she looks like.... as an adoptee you go through life not having anyone to look like you.... so I am hoping she will at least have one or two of my features.

Here are some things I am not ready for:
1.  I am not ready for the surgery knowing I will be completely out and when I wake up I will be a parent
2.  I am not ready for the high possibility that I will have an MS relapse sometime in the next three months.
3.  I am not ready to stay in the hospital for four days (I have never stayed the night before)
4.  I am not ready to go to the hospital yet because I still have 40 thank yous to write from my shower!
5.  I am not ready, but totally trusting that God is in control and he will give me what I need to raise this beautiful precious child to grow up to love, honor, and serve Jesus Christ.

There you have it!  My two week thoughts!

A Day in the Nursery

It was so nice today to spend the whole day getting things together for the nursery..... though it is not completely done yet - I feel so much better knowing that we have most things in place.  As we were putting our curtains up yesterday we realized that I had purchased 4 curtains - however one of them was 20 inches shorter than the others - and the worst part was that I just threw the packaging away on Monday.  I did well though - even though I was frustrated that I couldn't finish the curtains that night - I didn't cry!!! Moral victory for me!!!

So today I filled the drawers of the dresser and put the books on the shelf.  I also put together the mobile and the light.

All along I had been planning to put a verse on the wall.  Initially I was going to use a verse about sheep since that was part of our theme, but it just didn't speak to me as a life verse for our little girl - so after talking to some YM friends we chose the verse from Zephaniah 3:17 - though it was much longer - it has great meaning and I am so excited to teach her this verse.

I was thinking about having a friend help me cut it out on a cricut with vinyl letters, but as the day went on I just felt as though it was something I wanted to do - so tonight I got out my paintbrush and painted it on the wall.  Surprisingly enough it took me less than an hour.

I am hoping to get a few more things finished tomorrow so then the next couple weeks I can just sit back and relax (haha or maybe finish working on the rest of the house)  If you want to see more pictures of the nursery you can check out my facebook page.

A Good Reminder

Today started off pretty well!  I got to sleep in a bit then headed to Selinsgrove to do some coupon shopping!  Everything that I got was not only on sale but I had at least one or two coupons for each - that was a very good feeling - in fact at CVS I got a 92 count pack of diapers for 8.99 plus then got 3 dollars in extra bucks back - so it was really only 5.99!  That was my proud moment for the day!

I had lunch with my BFF Jeanne for her birthday - always a blessing to spend time with her.  And along the way I got to see some other fine folks, Aimee, Kendra and Jeff, and Kate - it was a happy morning for me!

Despite having a headache once again all was going well emotionally anyway!  So I headed home to unload the groceries and realized I had forgotten my new meds (I will just be honest here - I wasn't in too much of a hurry to get them other than the fact I was supposed to start them today).  So back to Mt. Pleasant Mills I went and waited as they got my order together.  (Funny thing about my new injections - they aren't prefilled so I have to fill each one the the correct amount - but our insurance will cover the medicine, but not the syringes - how crazy is that???)  Anyway - I got my stuff and decided that Tucker and I needed some ice cream - yes - I mean needed!!!  So off to Cruisers we went!

On the way home from Cruiser's the doctor's office called - I was assuming it was my test results, but I was wrong.... the date they had scheduled us for our c-section was not available and we would have to switch days.... which also meant switching doctors.... I was devistated - the only part about our whole experience yesterday that brought me peace and joy was knowing we were going to have my favorite doctor who knows us and my case really well...... just kidding!  Now we are scheduled for a day later with a doctor who we have seen however we felt very disconnected from.  Let's just say her bed side manner left a little to be desired.

So in the midst of changing our date for delivery the also had to change all our appointments - it was so overwhelming and we just started telling me when we had to come in - I was so frustrated - It was all I could do to not cry on the phone.

Though the lady was just doing her job and following her directions I was so frustrated by her lack of care that once again all my plans had changed and ahhhhhhh!

Once again the crying pregnant woman returned - all I could do was lay on the bed and cry - then of course Joel wasn't home yet which I thought he would be so that upset me - poor guy!

So I guess this is where I get to the title of my blog.... a good reminder.  My sister sent me a text asking about our delivery date and I told her briefly about the change and I was frustrated.  So she asked me why I didn't care for the new doctor we had been assigned to and I replied - no people skills - though she is one of the best surgeons (which is true - but of course emotional me could not look at that fact at the time) and Jill said - you know Dad's heart surgeon had no people skills but she saved his life!

How true!  Maybe this is just another way that God is providing protection for myself and the baby - a surgery is a high risk for me so maybe having this woman as my doctor is just what God intended..... or maybe I will go into labor next week and whoever is on call will have to do an emergency c-section.

Oh and just so you know - I did get my Maalox - and it was on sale plus I had a coupon!!!  That was also part of the good day segment!

My goal tomorrow is to have a happy story about our nursery almost being complete - so stay tuned!!!

I just can't be normal....

It was a long day for me.... actually it has been a bit of a long week.  I haven't felt well.  The joys of 3rd Trimester Migraines which make me want to do absolutely nothing!  But I guess that is beside the point.  Last night we had our breastfeeding class - which was very interesting but I must say - it was hard to sit in those chairs for two hours!  I would recommend the class if you are going to be breastfeeding, but it does seem to be a little long.

Anyway - we just stayed in town last night since we had to be there for several appointments today.  Praise God for free hotel stays!!!  So our first appointment was with Anesthesiologist - that was about an hour long - answering questions and learning how my MS and blood clotting affects my delivery - whether natural or cesarean.  Since we were nearly 100% sure she was still breech we spent most of our time talking about the surgery options, and this is where my diseases play a large part on my delivery.  Most women when they have a c-section get a spinal and they are able to have their spouse in the room and hold the baby immediately after they are taken out..... my case is different.  I am not able to have a spinal because of my high risk - so I have to be put out completely - so no holding the baby immediately.  Many people may not think that is a big deal but after carrying a child for 9 months and hearing about how important immediate bonding is and wanting that so greatly - it is hard to swallow the idea that others will get to see and hold the baby before I do.

I know that with time I will get over it - but it does make me sad that this is one of those things that is just not normal.... we are just praying that between the Doctor and the Anesthesilogist they will make an exception and at least let Joel in the room, I guess we will find out soon enough.

Though I am sad and disappointed we knew that this was a potential before we even tried to concieve so I think we handled the news pretty well.... at least that is what the nurse said - she was impressed with our maturity!  I guess that is what you get when you are in your 30s and 40s and having your first child - maturity (or at least the ability to suck it up and not show that deep down inside I was a bit disappointed)

Off to the doctor we went.  Being our 36 week appointment I had my B-strep test - results to come later this week I am guessing, and this was the week that we confirmed if the baby moved or not.  Well.... it was confirmed - she has not moved....  I will spare you the details of the exam but she is in fact pretty happy in the position that she is in.  She is measuring perfectly at 36 weeks and her heart rate is a consistant 150.  The other big change at 36 weeks is my blood thinners.

Up to this point I have taken a shot a day throughout my pregnancy, not fun to say the least - my stomach looks like a war zone between the bruises from the injections and the stretch marks.  Well starting tomorrow I am switching to a new med which is a shot twice a day - YUCK!!!!  I am not sure why this is bothering me - I knew it was coming - I just think I am tired and I am soon ready to hold my little girl instead of taking shots.  The other thing with this med is that it is not a prefilled injection so I will have to mess with filling syringes and such.  Like I said - minor thing when looking at the big picture of what we get in the end, but feeling like I feel today - it is just one more thing to put me on the edge of tears.

To end the whole day we stopped to pick up a blind for our bathroom - not in - urghhhhh!  Then we stopped so I could get some Maloxx because the Tums don't seem to be touching my acid reflux - wouldn't you guess - Walmart was out of Maloxx - no joke - the worst part was out of the whole day it was the Maloxx that almost made me cry!

I think I just need to go to bed - oh wait I am already in bed, but now close my eyes - fall asleep for 45 minutes until I have to go to the bathroom and repeat the cycle at least 10 times during the night.  I know I will feel better about everything by tomorrow.  And I know that in three weeks when our little girl arrives it will be all but a memory - but for now this is the real and raw emotions of a pregnant woman!  Please don't try to fix it or explain it away - just let me vent and validate my feelings and we can all be friends!!!

We have walls!!!

With less than 6 weeks until our little girl arrives we have been diligently working to get our nursery to the point that we can at least move all her things into it and have room for her cradle in our room.  It has been a long hot summer and the project has gone a bit slower than I would have liked, but I am being patient as I am seeing progress being made!

After beginning the project in late May - it seems as though it has taken a long time, however we are so blessed because we have had so many people that have volunteered their time to help us.  So a big thank you to The Treaster Men, Dave Ebright, Brian Kline, Aaron and Asher Benner, and now to finish the project Ryan Maneval - Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!  We are so blessed to have you sacrifice your time and energy to help us!

Our goal is that by Friday we (by we I mean anyone who wants to volunteer) can start to prime and paint the Nursery!  That is so exciting to me!  Then in the next weeks to come we can put the finishing touches - the molding, the scripture verse....oh my this is becoming so real - we are going to be parents!  Okay momentary reality check!  Check back to see our progress!

Diaper Tricycle

Today was a special treat for Joel and I - after our baby appointment which went well, my mom drove to Lewisburg to meet us for lunch - it was our birthday lunch together.  Not only did she have a few birthday gifts for me she also had a shower gift for me that she had forgot to give me at my shower....in fact she drove all the way to my house and home with it in the truck and still forgot to give it to me, but it was well worth the wait.  Check this out!

It is made of 30 diapers, 2 receiving blankets, 2 bibs, a set of booties, and a bottle.  I so want to make one of these - they are so cute!!! I have included several different views so you can see exactly how cute it is!!! 

Bana Returns on a Blizzard Fiasco

I have always joked that every person has an evil twin - and their name is your name switched out with a B - however if your name starts with a B then you just drop it.  So my evil twin is Bana.  Bana usually stays pretty quiet - however pregnancy has caused her to rear her ugly head.

Last night was a good example of Bana taking over my life.  I have been craving Dairy Queen Blizzards with Reeses Pieces.  So last night on the way home from camp - my saint of a husband stopped for me to get my fill.  Well - the store in Mt. Union PA does not have Reeses Pieces - so that through me for a loop - not to worry though I was not mean or upset with the lady at the counter I was just very disappointed and then took the next 5 minutes to come up with a new option for a flavor I was craving.  You would think that would be easy but when you have your mind made up - it is very difficult.

Also you have to take into consideration that sometimes the toppings change the flavor of the ice cream... and I don't really care for chocolate flavored ice cream so..... I went with the Turtle Blizzard that was to have choc. pieces, pecans, and some carmel - swirl in their thick vanilla ice cream - which I love.

I got my blizzard and started out the door - then I looked at it - it was soupy - it didn't look like ice cream or a blizzard but a cup of chocolate slop.  I tasted it hoping that my eyes were deceiving me - however they were not - it was a flop of a blizzard - it tasted nothing like ice cream.  So then the ten minute (minimum) rant began - how could she do that - don't they have to flip them upside down to show that they are think and smooth..... don't they know I was craving this - I just want ice cream!  Seriously - anger and tears - over ice cream.

My husband - just bit his lip knowing full well that I was just being emotionally unstable and completely irrational.  I was so mad!  Over ice cream - yes I am very embarrassed to admit that, but it is true.  Then all I could think about was how much I wanted that ice cream the whole way home.....

Then Joel being the loving guy he is stopped at the Lewistown Dairy Queen to try to make me happy - they too did not have Reeses Pieces (which is so weird because I have never been to a DQ that didn't have them) so I just got a vanilla cone - to which I was very happy but also felt horribly guilty that I had behaved so poorly to my husband - so as I ate my cone I cried!

It was a bit of a rough ride home!  But the night got worse - I was up all night long sick - no sure if it was the ice cream, the "turtle soup" or just a bug - I said to Joel I hope God is not punishing me because my attitude was so rotten - he just laughed and said I am sure He is not!

Belly Change

So the weirdest thing happened today..... my entire belly changed!  I was sitting at lunch and I looked down at my belly and thought .... it looks like my belly changed shapes.  It was like it dropped four inches lower..... I know that when the baby moves your stomach can change shapes, but up until this point I had been carrying pretty high and had a somewhat square shape to my belly - then all of sudden it changed.

So Joel said - maybe she decided to flip upside down like she is supposed to be and not but two minutes later she kicked my bladder in the same place as always to assure me - she had not changed positions after all, but my belly did!

I am facinated by pregnancy and what it does to your body and your emotions.  God definately has a sense of humor that is for sure.  So stay tuned at some point today I will be getting my 30 week picture which will also be my 36th Birthday picture up on facebook!  (PS - the belly in the picture is not mine!)

Week 30 Check Up

Today we headed to Lewisburg for our 30 week check for the baby.  We are getting into the routine of going now every two weeks.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is able to go with me.... if nothing else he is always entertaining to the nurses, midwives and doctors.... he sometimes gets to be a little much for me - but I figure if he can put up with my mood swings - I can put up with his silliness!!!

The visit went well - pretty typical - they measure you to make sure the baby is growing and they check for the heartbeat, go over test results, ask you some questions and they send you home.  Well today - we talked about my three hour test results which one nurse said was normal and the other said it was not.... and guess what they were both correct!  I passed which is awesome!  However, my sugar can drop really quickly so I need to always carry a snickers bar - no joke that is what she said - I love snickers too so that makes me really happy!!!  But is also explains why I got so sick going home from the test last week.

Then she checked my measurements - which were at 30 weeks - perfect!  Then she checked the heartbeat and said I have a mover - but her heart rate was great too.  Then she was feeling around to see if she could feel the position of the baby and said - I can't seem to find her head!  So then I turned into the comedian and said - well maybe she is missing hers.... okay not funny at all!  She said well we should probably do an ultrasound to check her position but I don't want to take up your time today.... so Joel responds - oh it is no problem if you want to do one today - we would be happy to stay longer.

So she did - and it was confirmed that she is breech - she has several weeks to turn so we aren't worried at this point.  I figured she was still that way since she seems to enjoy doing jumping jacks on my bladder.   Also in case you were concerned - she does have a head it is just up under my ribs which was why she couldn't feel it.

The only other weird thing is I have mole that has changed in the last week and the midwife said I need to get it removed - so add that to the list of weird things that happen to me while pregnant!  All in all a great visit - fun to see our little one - even though she was hiding her face with her hands!

Three Hour Glucose Test

I was going to blog about this last week, however - I was way too upset to write about it, so I thought I would wait until today, when I had lots of time to just sit and enjoy some relaxation (okay maybe using enjoy is a bit of stretch)

I am sitting in the hospital waiting room in the middle of my three hour test.  It has been a long morning but I am over half way done.  I know I can get through this and it will all be worth it in the end, however in the midst of it, it really stinks.

Last week I took the one hour test - it wasn't fun by any means, but I drank the syrup and though it was gross, it didn't make me sick.  I had my blood taken before and after as part of the test.  That afternoon I found out my fasting sugar was great - at the low end of normal - that made me very happy!  However, then she went on to say that my Glucose levels however were high which meant I would have to come back for the three hour test.

I tried to not cry or get angry - it didn't work too well.  I least I held it together until I got to the elevator, then the tears began to flow - in fact I cried the whole way home.  My poor husband - I feel badly that he has to deal with all my medical woes and my pregnancy emotions, but he handles it so well.  The worse part about the ride home was the fact that I was craving a blizzard at DQ but I was so upset that I didn't pass the glucose test I thought that the last place I should stop would be Dairy Queen.

So this morning I got up at 5:30 am and at the hospital at the butt crack of dawn.  Then the test began....

Four  things that really stink about this test....
1.  It is so early in the morning
2.  I had to come by myself
3.  The glucose syrup made me sick this week - very sick!  (The nurse kept saying - try really hard to keep it down!)
4.  I have to get my blood taken 5 times in the three hours.

Four Good things about this test.
1.  I have been able to keep the syrup down!
2.  There is one comfy chair in the waiting room with a footrest and I was here so early that I have moved in and claimed it.
3.  I have gotten a lot done while sitting here (praise God they have a wireless connection here)
4.  While sitting here waiting, my little girl is rolling around and seems to be enjoying my down time.

I know that this test is just part of the pregnancy journey and I know that I am just way too tired and hungry so it makes it all worse!  Looking forward to being done in an hour and super excited to get something to eat!!

Third Trimester! Wahoo!!!!

It is hard to believe that I am finally in my third trimester....while laying in bed for much of my first trimester - it seemed this day would never come, second trimester was just as many people said - really nice for the most part.  The morning sickness went away - I was off bed rest, I felt pretty good, not a lot of swelling at that point, and best yet - I started to feel her move which is so reassuring!

Now it is the third and final trimester - which means approximately 12 weeks until our little one arrives.  I have a feeling in some ways it will fly by and in other ways it will be a long hot summer.  There are a couple things that I have noticed already in this final trimester....

1.  Mood swings - I know - doesn't that describe all of us as women.... well I had my moments during the last two trimesters but it seems that is has gotten worse in the last week.  Every little thing bothers me or annoys me.  People say things and it frustrates me.  I cry because my belly isn't round enough.... I mean really - this alone could make for a long 12 weeks.

2.  Acid Reflux - In the past I have had minor issues with this - but in the last two weeks - wow!  Waking up from a dead sleep because I can't swallow - yuck!  Tums and Maalox are gross but I suffer through them just for some minor relief.

3.  Leg Cramps - Seriously it feels like someone is taking my calf muscles and tying them together and pulling them while I am trying to sleep - seriously what is up with all these things stealing my sleep - does my body not know that soon a baby will be here and I will be getting now sleep??

4. Clothes - I thought maternity clothes were made to grow with you..... well for some reason some of mine are already grown out of many of them and there are no more sizes to go up to - I guess I will just wear my sundresses all summer to every event!

5.  Looking the part - there is no doubt now that I look pregnant - now the strangers have started the belly rubbing.  I guess I should just get used to it.  But at least I don't just look overweight - it is mostly in my belly so far - praying that I don't get cankles but I am not going to hold my breath!

6.  No More rings - my wedding rings had to come off this week.... I was holding off as long as I could but I was told - it is better to take them off now then have to have them get cut off - true!!!  So off they came!

7.  More Appointments - I am now on the every other week doctor visit schedule - tomorrow I go to have a check up as well as blood work, and the fun glucose test that I have heard such fun (not really) stories about.

Okay - that is my little rant on the first week of the third trimester!  I am enjoying my air conditioning!  Praise God for that!

My favorite Grocery Store

I really never had any idea how much I would appreciate this sign that is found at one of the local grocery stores.  In fact out of all the stores around - grocery or not - there is only one local store that has this special parking.... I love you Weis grocery store by the Susquehanna Valley Mall!!!  You have no idea how nice it is to be able to quickly get in and out of the heat of summer when you can park close to the store.  I wish more stores had this option available!!!  

I'm just right!!!

Over the past several months I have been reading a list of different things that people say to pregnant woman without even thinking.... note to all those that are currently not pregnant - we are emotional and often overly sensitive people - choose your words carefully!!!

With that being said - in the last week I have experienced both extremes.... one day while at the dentist that receptionist asked when I was due - I replied Sept. 12 - oh wow - you look like you will be going sooner!  Then just a few days after that - I was explaining something to someone and mentioned about my pregnancy and she said "you don't even look pregnant" - oh my goodness - really?

You are all welcome to have your opinions - my brother just yesterday said "twins or a watermelon" when I posted my 26 week photos.  I have also been told I was getting fat and chubby this past week.  Nice!

Just an FYI - you are all welcome to have your opinions about how big or how small I am but remember this - number one - every woman is different!  Number two - I am pretty excited to be getting a bigger baby belly.  Number three - I am emotional and irrational and if you make comments like that - they will in fact hurt my feelings and I may in fact cry - just to forewarn you!

I am not going to post my picture on this blog because I don't want you to feel as though you need to analyze my bump - but if you must see you can check out my facebook page or just ask.

Yet another friendly vent from the Local prego woman!

PS - I went to the doctor today and she said I am at 27 weeks which is just four days away - so I am just right!!!!

Our Registry

Many people have been asking about where we are registered.  So I thought since Joel blogged about our registry I might as well too.  I will include the links to get to the different sites so it will be easy for you to just click and wahla - there it is.  We are just so grateful that we have so many people that care about us and our new little girl.

Here are the links to our registries:

Babies "R" Us - Click on "Find a Registry"

Amazon.com - Joel & Jana's Baby Registry  Type in our name to find the registry.

Target   Click on "Gift Regisrty"

Lamaze Class

The name of the class can be very deceiving and make you think that you are just going to learn about how to breath and relax, however it was so much more than that and I am so thankful we actually took the class as early as we did.  There were actually a few couples in our class that were due in a few weeks, but I like to have as much information as early as possible to help me feel educated and to make wise decisions about our delivery options.

First I must say that our instructor was great, okay we were a little biased since she is a good friend, but she was informative, knowledgeable, had a sense of humor, and used a variety of teaching tools.  As a public speaker and educator I love to be around quality speakers and Tammy Leitzel - you are one - great job!!!

As I mentioned before the class was so much more than just learning how to breath... in fact here are some interesting things that I learned in the class that I did not know before.

1.  First time moms usually are in labor 12-17 hours.  The good news is that is not constant
2.  If you are induced you have to stay on a monitor throughout the rest of your delivery time.
3.  Although our hospital does not do water births they do have a tub with jets to help with contractions, as well as birthing ball and bar.
4.  Our bodies are designed for having babies, and they will naturally work through the delivery process.
5.  Changing positions during labor and using gravity can reduce the length of labor and reduce tearing.
6.  Once you are admitted as the mom you aren't able to have anything but clear liquids - husbands can't eat in the room they have to eat at the nursing station. (Joel was pretty happy about that)
7.  Nubain is a drug to help take the edge off the pain of labor, however it doesn't restrict you like an epidural does.
8.  Contractions start at the sides and work their way to the middle and back out to the sides.
9.  Pain is - purposeful, anticipated, intermittent, and normal
10.  Only 12% of women have their water break out prior to labor.

This was just a piece of what we learned.  We feel we are much more informed now to make some decisions as far as our preferences.  Hope it has been helpful to you as well!

Coming Home clothes

The joy of knowing what you are going to have is picking out clothes for the baby ahead of time,  the hard part is having no idea how big or small she will be, and also not having any clue when it comes to having our own baby!

Many people like the surprise of not knowing but as a planner - it has been fun to know and prepare and pray specifically for a little girl.  As much as I love to plan - it has been a very hard thing to pick out an outfit to bring her home from the hospital.  I don't really feel the need to go out and shop for tons of clothes because I know we will be getting some cute outfits as gifts - in fact the only outfit I really wanted to pick out was her coming home dress.

I have been looking for about a month now, and it seems like I had something in mind but couldn't find anything anywhere.  This was my thought - I wanted something that was clean and fresh looking - a white or light color.  I wanted something that wasn't covered with pink.  I wanted something cute and feminine but not a sleeper or something like that.  I wanted something that would be comfortable and easy to put on (many mom's mentioned the easy to put on factor).  Something simple yet cute!

I was so excited today to finally get to look with Joel along - now if you know him - you will know he doesn't really have strong opinions and will usually just say whatever I like is fine but I wanted him to help with this and that he did and I love the choice we made.

Now all we have to get is a little bonnet or hat and some cute socks and we are all set.

This is the front of the dress

This is the back of the dress with a little white bow and yellow flower

It may be a little big on her but if my mom is correct and we have an 8 pound baby it should fit perfectly!  

The Stocking Saga!

The joy of having Factor Five Leiden (blood clotting disorder) while pregnant brings about many new and exciting things to an already crazy time in life called Pregnancy!  We knew full well going into this pregnancy that we would have to take some extra precautions and things would be a bit different from the "normal pregnancy" that many woman have (although I am beginning to think that normal is so vast it is hard to determine what is normal for one woman may not be normal for another)

Anyway - I have to take shots daily in my belly, which has not been fun from the start, but I must say it is getting harder and harder as I get bigger and bigger - I have trouble seeing where to inject.... I told Joel just yesterday he is going to have to start giving me the shots - let's just say he was less than thrilled by that idea.

Another risk of this disorder is bleeding and bruising - so no contact sports - hahaha - okay most prego woman can't play them but I have to be extra careful not to get cuts or bruises because of the blood thinners.  Obviously though the biggest risk is blood clots - though I am taking blood thinners I am still at risk especially as it gets hotter and my body begins the "summer of swelling"(now that would be a fun name for a blog as well)

All this to say - I now get to wear full stockings - and not just nylons!  We are talking 20-30 compression stockings that go from my toes to my chest!  Talk about fun to put on!  It takes several minutes with several rest stops along the way just to get them up to my knees.  Let's just say once I get them on - they stay on all day!

Here is the worst part of these stockings - not only are they hot and a bit annoying to put on - they cost an arm and a leg - I could have purchased a crib for the price of two pairs of these stockings - !23.00 a piece..... don't worry though - it gets better..... We could not find a place that sold them so we ended up in Harrisburg just to find out that they don't take our insurance and theirs cost 150.00 a pair.  Finally we found a place in Sunbury - and after a few mishaps of ordering the wrong ones or just not ordering them - I got them.

But the sage continues.... being an emotional pregnant woman I tend to cry a bit more often... well we were at my parents this weekend and it was hot and muggy and I couldn't get my stockings on - so I just began to sob - "I can't do this for the next three months"  Thankfully I have a very compassionate understanding husband who comforted and assured me I could.

Oh now comes the best or should I say worst part of the saga..... On Wednesday I was home for the afternoon packing for our trip and figured it was time to get my stockings on... as I was putting them on - I heard the horrid sound of ripping - not just a small tear but the size of a fist.... I got sick to my stomach and the sobbing returned.... how can something that cost so much ruin so easily.... I must have sobbed for 20 minutes.

I have now made it three more days without ruining my other pair and also without crying about anything stocking or non stocking related.

I guess the moral of the saga is this - you have to make sacrifices as a parent and if I want to have a healthy (as possible) pregnancy I must suck it up and take it like a woman!  Next time you see me you can tell me how great I look wearing stockings with shorts in the middle of summer, I can't guarantee that I won't cry but I will laugh as well!!

Lions, Tigers, and Baby Registries, Oh MY!

And I thought a wedding registry was time consuming....baby registries are much more difficult.  This week I think I finally have most everything on our registry for our little girl that will be coming in late August, early September....but it was a long hard process to get to that point.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoyed the process (at least most of it) but it was long and complicated.  When it was just us and we were getting kitchen things I didn't really care if we had the best or the safest appliance, but I would have to say that my motherly instincts have kicked in for the baby and I want everything to be safe and good quality - so I have read reviews, product descriptions, compared prices.... wow - all this from a non-shopper - now you can understand why it was a bit overwhelming.

For any of you that will be registering the near future, let me give you a couple tips that I have learned....

1.  Call up a few new moms that have infants under age one.  Ask them what they have, what they like, what they don't like, and what they can for sure do without, as well as what is a must have.  Each mom will be different but it will help you greatly.  I even went over to look at their things and try them out.

2.  Pick several places that you would like to register.  This will allow you to get the items you really want instead of settling for something different just because the one store doesn't have it.  It will also help you to pick which place has it the cheapest.  For us I picked one place that was an internet site - Amazon which offers free shipping for $25 or more orders.  We picked a store that focuses on babies - Babies R Us.  And we picked a store that was local that you can just walk into and find good prices.  It gives your friends and family some choices as well.

3.  Take your mom (if you have a cool mom like I do)!  Joel isn't real picky and I knew he would rather do other things than go shopping, so I left him at home and met my mom for the day.  Though it has been a long time since my mom had children (all five of us are in our 30s) she is an expert Grandma and she is up to speed on all the new safety things.  On top of that - it was a great day to spend bonding with my mom.  I don't know how she managed five kids, but I hope that I can manage one as well as she did her five.

Another option would be to take a friend that has had children within the last two years - they can be helpful in the registering process.

4.  Remember this is your child, you need to be comfortable with your choices, pick things that good for you and your situation.  For instance, with my MS I have trouble with my hands and decided to be very picky about the car seat that I chose.  The stroller that I chose I had to consider where I lived (in the boonies) with rough surfaces.  So instead of getting a cute travel system that matched, I picked a car seat that I could actually clip with my hands and a stroller that will actually move on our back roads.  But like I said before each person's situation is different.

5.  I have not experiences this one completely yet, but I have been told by several people.  Don't be afraid to put bigger things on your registry - people will go together to help purchase the bigger items.  Also don't by a ton of stuff before your shower - you will be amazed at what you get as a gift.  I have already gotten many great used items from others in the church that are in great condition, however - if you want new - don't be afraid to say it, it is completely understandable.

I hope this helps!  My little one is getting excited just thinking about (she is kicking away as I type, maybe she wants some music!).

Spoiler Alert

What an amazing day!!!  After a few days of feeling very anxious, we had several days of active baby moment which I saw as a direct gift from God!  Every morning and every evening our little one seems to want to dance around, but I am loving every second of it.  It gave me peace to know that things were okay.

Then today (or yesterday - depending on when you read this) we were able to get a full ultrasound and 4D picture of our little miracle.  I wasn't sure what I thought about those 4D pictures - they often seem a bit weird looking, but the first picture we saw - changed my whole opinion.  Here is a picture of that picture.  You can see the babies face with the fist next to it.  I actually cry tears of joy every time I look at it, it is amazing to see God handiwork as the child is being knit together in my womb.

So now for the big reveal - if you are not interested in knowing what were are having you may want to stop reading now.... we know some people are opposed to knowing but for us - it was still very much a surprise it was just a 5 month surprise not a nine month surprise.  We are blessed to be able to know what we are having and pray specifically for this child.

We are having a...... GIRL!!!!  and we couldn't be happier.... the ultrasound looked great and she measured perfectly for when she is due - they checked all her organs and her heart - she is perfect!!!  And I got a good report as well!  So baby and mommy are great!  I have a feeling she is going to be a Daddy's girl, but I can't think of a better guy to have my daughter spend time with.

My biggest fear as some of my friend's would say - is that she will love the color pink - because as many of you know - it is far from my favorite - but I am sure it will grow on me - but please consider all the other beautiful colors out there that a girl could just love - peach, purple, yellow, orange, red - really the sky is the limit!!!

Check out her picture - isn't she just precious already.  I can't wait to hold her in my arms in four short months!!!

We are so grateful for all the prayers and support that we have been given so far in this journey and we know the journey is just beginning.  We also know that God has a special plan for our little one and we pray that she will one day change the world!!!

Anxiously Waiting

This week seems to be taking forever!!!  Or more like this month seems to be taking forever!  As much as I appreciate feeling much better than last trimester, and I appreciated not having to drive 45 minutes to the doctor every week, these last four weeks seem to be going very slow!!!

I am excited and anxious for Friday - not just because we can find out the gender (hoping the baby will cooperate!) but mostly because I want to hear that heartbeat!!!  There is nothing as soothing as that sound.  I am at that weird stage where I feel pretty good most of the time.  I have weird pains here and there (round ligament pains they call them - seriously just call the growing pains!).  In the last two weeks I have even started to feel movement....but that I think is part of the anxious issue for me... I feel it - then nothing (or nothing that I can determine for sure is movement) for days.  Then I feel something....hmmmm - just an FYI this is killing my type A personality!  I like to know that things are okay - I like to know that there is consistency of which in this case there is none.

I am guessing that as I get farther along and the baby starts moving on a daily basis - I won't have to wonder - I will know, but until then I must practice patience (which interestingly enough I talked about this morning in a chapel talk).  Praying for the next two days to go quickly, praying for the baby to keep giving me shimmers of hope by moving around...... I am sure that in a month or so I am going to wish that the baby would move less as I am trying to sleep at night, but until then - dance, baby dance!  I want to feel you move!!!

The Prayer that Two Shall Become One

To give you a little background on the title - I have noticed that over the past two months as I am getting bigger and the baby is growing, I actually have two bumps in my belly area.  The lower one is where the baby is growing and getting bigger day by day, the other bump is all the stuff that used to be in my lower belly, but had to move to make room for the baby.....  I don't think this phenomenon is an issue for thin people because when you look at their baby belly they are perfectly shaped.  However, I have never been one of those people, so therefore my current baby belly is anything but perfect.  In fact is is double!  I keep waking up and looking in the mirror hoping for a single belly....

The thing that makes it even more entertaining is that many people see my top belly and want to rub it thinking it is the baby - hahaha - it is just my stomach!  I was explaining this to all the youth group girls the other night, and now every time I see them they ask me - are your bellies one yet? 

Well my husband being the spiritual leader that he is  - has decided to put that into his prayer for the baby each night, so after we pray for the health of our baby - he prays and may her two bellies become one!  Gotta love my husband.  I know God has to be laughing as he listens to me..... I also know that several months from now when I start to get hugely uncomfortable - I will wish I could go back to my two bellies - but for now I will celebrate that I have a growing baby - that I felt flutter for the first time yesterday in church!

Some things I have learned

Here are some things I have learned over the past few weeks.  Just a fair warning - I do talk about gross things so be prepared!

1. Being sick while pregnant is ten times worse than when you are not - it compares to being sick while having MS - so maybe it is just the combination of all my ailments put together (not that being pregnant is an ailment - you know what I mean)

2.  When you have a sore throat - don't gargle with salt water!  Bad idea!!!  I was trying so hard to try all the non medicine options since the list of approved meds is small so I thought I will give it a try - the result - vomitting!  Yuck!

3.  Brushing your teeth is a chore - yet it is of utmost importance while pregnant to keep your gums healthy (or at least so I have read)  Gagging is now part of my daily brushing routine.  Actually it did get so bad one morning that I did vomit - several times!  Yuck Again!!!  I did change flavors - from mint to orange since I have been craving oranges a lot - it reduced the gagging emensly!

4.  Sinus Head colds are not fun!!  Coughing is not fun!  I have tried the teas and the honey and the lemon juice.... no relief - so I tried benedryl which is on the approved list - well I did sleep a bit more but I had some weird dreams!!!  Really weird and I remember every detail of them!  Since it has been four days and I still can't breath out of my nose I tried saline spray - bad idea!!  Vomitting!!!!  Yuck again.

5.  Some women vomit alot during the first trimester - I was just nausaus - but second trimester I am making my vomitting come back - it is so weird too - because I don't feel sick I just start gagging and the rest is history!

Well that is all I have learned this week.  I am sure I will have more lessons learned by next week.  As for now I am signing off to get ready for my four month appointment - can't wait to hear the heartbeat!!!
Trusting God that everything is going smoothly inside my belly!!!

The Bittersweet of April 1st

Last year on this day - April first was also Maundy Thursday, last year April 1st was a beautiful sunny day.... it was a day that started out like any other, but by noon time it quickly turned into one of the hardest days of my life, as I spent the day at the hospital, soon to realize that we had just lost the baby that we had prayed so hard for.  We were only 6 weeks along in our pregnancy, but it seemed as though we had known that child.  It is a weird feeling that I can't explain, but that day we lost our child and it seemed as though we lost our dream of being parents.  We didn't know what the future held for us, we just knew that day that we felt lost and empty.  As I walked outside this morning I could see the tulips that we planted in memory of our little one were peaking through the ground - I long to see their beautiful bloom as a reminder of God shining his love on our lives.

You should also know that four years ago on April 1st I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  Let's just say April fools day is not a day that brings about a lot of joy in my heart - as I look at my past.  I thought that was one of the hardest days of my life, but little did I know at that point - how much harder it would be to deal with a miscarriage - three years later on that same day.

Though my heart is sad and heavy over the loss of our child, I am comforted in knowing that God's plan is always perfect even though I don't fully understand that many times.  I will always have a special place in my heart for that little one.

This year - April 1st was a full day - but a day filled with joy and knowing God has something great in store for us as parents to be, because this year - we are close to our 17 week mark in our pregnancy - the stress and complications of the first trimester are over, and we are well into our 2nd trimester.  God is good, and we are trusting each day that he will continue help this baby grow and develop.  But we also much trust that God plan is perfect - regardless!

We are so thankful for all those that have prayed for us - in our losses and more recently in our joys!  We know that God has big plans for our little one (5inches long, 4-5 ounces this week)!

Ode to My Immune System

Dear Immune System - I would really like it if you worked like other people's immune system, by that I mean when something foreign comes into my body you are supposed to attack it!  Not attack me!  This has been one of those weeks where pregnancy and my MS are teaming together to kill my immune system.

Strep throat is my newest of issues!  Oh I pray that my baby has an immune system from his/her father and not from me.  If you want to pray for that too - I would be grateful.  I was kinda expecting to be feeling better by today since I have been on the antibiotics since Monday night, but today it has moved from my throat to my sinuses and my whole body is acky and yucky!

Now it is bed rest because I am sick, not because of the baby!  Oh the joys of being sick and pregnant!  I don't know what I would do if I had a 9 to 5 job or if I had other kids to care for.  It is good how God works all things for the good of those who love him!

Okay I am done with my rant about my Immune System, looking forward to feeling better soon, until then I will snuggle up under my covers, pretend my house is clean, and rest!

Growing Pains

I have a new understanding of what Growing pains are.  I always thought they were pain that children experienced as their joints and skin and organs were growing.  Well let me just declare... there are also growing pains going on in my abdomen.  They tell you that as the baby grows it will stretch and pull your muscles and skin to make room for the growing child..... well my stomach is stretching in places that I didn't even know that muscles existed (okay I knew they were there, but they never really were worked out too much to say the least) until just recently.

They call them round ligament pains.  What a nice name - it sounds kinda happy "round ligaments" they should call it ab deconstruction....don't get me wrong I am not upset - I just think their term is a little misleading.  I am so thankful for our growing child and as it gets bigger and my muscle continue to stretch I will count it a joy that God is growing a miracle inside of me.

Any time I have pain - I am just a little bitter at Eve and her decision to sin in the garden - which led to the curse of a painful childbirth....however God does redeem it all by blessing you after the pain... I look forward to that blessing!!!

Things they don't warn you about...

14 Weeks 1 day along in the journey to meet our gift from God!  And what a journey it has been....  The first trimester was a hard one to say the least with complications from bleeding, infections, and bedrest....well and all the morning sickness that goes along with it.  I actually lost close to 10 pounds in the first tirmester.

But oh the joy of being in the second trimester - morning sickness is mostly gone, unless I am hungry then sickness creeps in again.  Although it is a good reminder that I am hungry or at least the baby is hungry.

My title of the blog today is the things they don't warn you about..... here are a couple that I have figured out for me, but again it could be different for everyone.

1.  Brushing your teeth is a chore.... I try to will myself into actually being able to brush the inside of my teeth without gaging.  Every single time I try I am unsuccessful.  I am sure all the dentist will scold me for this but there are days when I just don't want to gag - so as gross as this might sound, I avoid brushing the inside of my teeth..... I know as a pregnant person dental hygiene is of utmost importance, but I hate gagging!!!!

2.  Licking Envelopes is out - Maybe it is just me, but I can't lick an envelope without gagging either.  So I guess unless Joel decides he wants to help or I get up off the couch and get a wet paper towel - no one is going to be getting any mail from me.

3.  Sciatic Nerve - I knew I had one - in fact I am a former health teacher - but then again if you don't use it you lose it....  On Friday night I felt like I had a hip pointer in my butt.... weird I thought!  The next day at lunch I bent down to get something and excrusiating pain followed.  I couldn't walk - literally!  I had to crawl to go to the bathroom (remember I was at a retreat with 23 other women - it was a little embarrassing)  I had no idea that babies like to sit on sciatic nerves!  Even babies as little as a lemon can cause be a pain in the butt - literally!

4.  Cravings are serious and can bring out the worst in you - Many people have asked me if I have had any cravings yet and to be honest up to yesterday I haven't really had too many - maybe because I was just happy to eat a few bits of something.  Anyway - yesterday I had a craving for peanut brittle - when I told Joel he chuckled and said - well I am sure it will go away - wrong thing to say - I turned evil - and left the room I was so mad!!!  Oh my - It was like I needed it - like someone needs a drug.... it was bad...needless to say my poor husband caught on to my frustration and went on a search for peanut brittle!!!  Success - and then all of a sudden I was nice again.

Well that is it for now - check back later for more adventures!!!

I'm Back

To be honest - I have been avoiding blogging for the last two months....I guess most of it was out of fear that I would end up having to share bad news again. However, we have great news to celebrate - we have made it to our second trimester!!!!

It has been a rough road to get here - with many trips to the doctor, a day in the ER, complications, bleeding, bedrest - but it has all been worth it so far. The days can be long and hard as I sit on the couch trying not to worry about what could go wrong next. I have decided the internet can be a tool of fear and worry - every time something weird happens I go online to see if it is normal - it is nice to know that so often it is - but then you hear and read about all the bad things that can happen and that is not helpful at all!!!

I guess my biggest fear in doing this blog again is to let people into my roller coaster of emotions. I sit at home most days by myself while Joel is at work and my emotions just wear on me - I have decided that is the hardest part of bedrest. I don't want people to see the ups and downs that I am experiencing....however - If this can help another mom at some point as they journey through a miscarriage and a complicated high risk pregnancy - then I need to let people into my world.

As a speaker I am always encouraging the women and the teens to be transparent - to let people into their world. I try to do that - but this journey seems so messy, so bumpy, so filled with unknowns that I want to protect my friends and my family.

Today I am letting you in to my world of this scary but exciting journey of life. It is my prayer that you will be entertained by my take on things, that you will walk through this with me in laughter, in tears, in "oh my" moments, and you will join us in praying for our little one growing inside of us.

We have made it to the 13 week mark but we know that we have a long road ahead of us! Thanks for your prayers and encouragement - we feel so loved!