Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I just can't be normal....

It was a long day for me.... actually it has been a bit of a long week.  I haven't felt well.  The joys of 3rd Trimester Migraines which make me want to do absolutely nothing!  But I guess that is beside the point.  Last night we had our breastfeeding class - which was very interesting but I must say - it was hard to sit in those chairs for two hours!  I would recommend the class if you are going to be breastfeeding, but it does seem to be a little long.

Anyway - we just stayed in town last night since we had to be there for several appointments today.  Praise God for free hotel stays!!!  So our first appointment was with Anesthesiologist - that was about an hour long - answering questions and learning how my MS and blood clotting affects my delivery - whether natural or cesarean.  Since we were nearly 100% sure she was still breech we spent most of our time talking about the surgery options, and this is where my diseases play a large part on my delivery.  Most women when they have a c-section get a spinal and they are able to have their spouse in the room and hold the baby immediately after they are taken out..... my case is different.  I am not able to have a spinal because of my high risk - so I have to be put out completely - so no holding the baby immediately.  Many people may not think that is a big deal but after carrying a child for 9 months and hearing about how important immediate bonding is and wanting that so greatly - it is hard to swallow the idea that others will get to see and hold the baby before I do.

I know that with time I will get over it - but it does make me sad that this is one of those things that is just not normal.... we are just praying that between the Doctor and the Anesthesilogist they will make an exception and at least let Joel in the room, I guess we will find out soon enough.

Though I am sad and disappointed we knew that this was a potential before we even tried to concieve so I think we handled the news pretty well.... at least that is what the nurse said - she was impressed with our maturity!  I guess that is what you get when you are in your 30s and 40s and having your first child - maturity (or at least the ability to suck it up and not show that deep down inside I was a bit disappointed)

Off to the doctor we went.  Being our 36 week appointment I had my B-strep test - results to come later this week I am guessing, and this was the week that we confirmed if the baby moved or not.  Well.... it was confirmed - she has not moved....  I will spare you the details of the exam but she is in fact pretty happy in the position that she is in.  She is measuring perfectly at 36 weeks and her heart rate is a consistant 150.  The other big change at 36 weeks is my blood thinners.

Up to this point I have taken a shot a day throughout my pregnancy, not fun to say the least - my stomach looks like a war zone between the bruises from the injections and the stretch marks.  Well starting tomorrow I am switching to a new med which is a shot twice a day - YUCK!!!!  I am not sure why this is bothering me - I knew it was coming - I just think I am tired and I am soon ready to hold my little girl instead of taking shots.  The other thing with this med is that it is not a prefilled injection so I will have to mess with filling syringes and such.  Like I said - minor thing when looking at the big picture of what we get in the end, but feeling like I feel today - it is just one more thing to put me on the edge of tears.

To end the whole day we stopped to pick up a blind for our bathroom - not in - urghhhhh!  Then we stopped so I could get some Maloxx because the Tums don't seem to be touching my acid reflux - wouldn't you guess - Walmart was out of Maloxx - no joke - the worst part was out of the whole day it was the Maloxx that almost made me cry!

I think I just need to go to bed - oh wait I am already in bed, but now close my eyes - fall asleep for 45 minutes until I have to go to the bathroom and repeat the cycle at least 10 times during the night.  I know I will feel better about everything by tomorrow.  And I know that in three weeks when our little girl arrives it will be all but a memory - but for now this is the real and raw emotions of a pregnant woman!  Please don't try to fix it or explain it away - just let me vent and validate my feelings and we can all be friends!!!

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